A blended family combines children from past relationships under the leadership of a stepdad. Even so, you can never be fully prepared for the stepfather role until you get to meet and interact with your stepchildren and start taking the responsibilities as it were. Parenting in and by itself is quite difficult, add to it the role of a stepparent and you understand why support for stepdads is very important today more than ever before. Another thing to remember is that you are perfectly human and very normal when you are engulfed with feelings of being a step behind always.
But then again, there are some steps and measures you can implement to ensure you are always doing your best at your step fathering role. How about you start by seeking help for stepdads to ensure you do not end up emotionally disconnected from the children under your authority. By getting the support that you need, you will assume a natural leadership position and not withdraw from your responsibilities should the going gets tough as it sometimes will.
There are very useful resources online that can offer the best advice for stepdads. Do not hesitate to join a forum of like-minded fathers of blended families looking to make good their fathering abilities. The following are some additional action points you will find indispensable as a stepdad at this time and age.
First and foremost, it is important you understand and comprehend the emotional climate of your step kids. For example, when you understand a child’s past wounds and hurts you will be better off understanding when those angry outbursts and oppositional attitudes become the order of the day.
As a stepdad, you must also learn to understand earning respect and your leadership position in a blended family isn’t automatic and that it comes with time. Otherwise put, it will only be a matter of time that you start to assume the leadership role as you gradually nurture connection and trust with your step kids. Being the best stepdad is also giving the kids enough time to accept you at their own pace, not forcing your authority on them when you feel like it. It is also important that you be approachable and not defensive as you seek to become the leader in your new blended family. You shouldn’t be the one to easily get hurt by the common reactions of most stepchildren. More importantly, you must learn to manage your anger and stress, so you don’t end up taking it all out on the kids.